Issues

So I'm having some issues lately, hence the title. These issues are mostly the same that I always have: not enough money, procrastinating with school, staying up too late, time management issues, and being a fatty. These are my issues... but lately I've been kind of panicky about my internship, this is the main issue of the moment. How is it I can't get people to hire me to work for free?? The saddest part is they are only looking at my resume, my transcript is a million times worse. I don't have a way to convince people that I am important enough of a person to do free labor. Its ridiculous!

I'm also having an issue with moving back in with my mom. Not because I think it is below me or anything, please I'll be taking hand outs till the day I die, but she doesn't have anything to hand out. I know that because she is my mom she will let me live with her no matter what... but she can't even pay her rent for the summer and is trying to get Meggie to move in for June because they are putting her on lithium (most likely). Sure I'll get a part time job and intern somewhere, most likely for Caitlin's mom (which I am very grateful for the offer) but I feel like after that I am going to be stuck in Paris working at Bealls for the rest of forever because people won't even hire me to work for free.
This brings up another issue that I don't even like entertainging the thought of... Staying in San Marcos and letting the internship coordnator place me. Various members of my fam are telling me to do this and all I want to do is throw a temper tantrum and say BUT I DON'T WANNA....I WANNA BE WITH MY FRIENDS!!! I feel like if I stay down here I am going to be stuck here, and in July I won't even have a "here" our lease goes up and my dad is being a big ass and isn't helping me out ( I told you... I take the hand outs) But I can stay with meggie for 3 weeks until my internship is over and then hopefully by that time dad will be done with litigation and then I can do what I want (ideally) or I can continue to squat at Meggie's or go ahead and go up to Mom's go from there. Which I have been told would be better for her because she be getting paid again in the Fall. This is the first time i've actually thought this all out, even though it has be told to me many times... I just never listen. It seems a little bit more logical, just not what I want. . . at all.
I just don't know, but I have to figure out by Wednesday, because if I am going to let the coordnators place me I should have told them like 3 weeks ago.
buh.


side note: I just watched some Grey's Anatomy and I decided my perfect man is both Karev and O'Malley. Yup and Alex O'Malley... does he exist, probs not.