my life. my life. living my life

So I was thinking maybe I should write a blog. I don't do it very often and I can't fall asleep.

I can't seem to do anything else either. I somehow got more than half of my cut outs done for my design project that is due on Tuesday... but I am still waaaay behind.
I also didn't study this weekend AT ALL for my cult anth. test tomorrow, and earlier this evening I panicked because I remembered that this semester I HAVE to do good.. you know so I can graduate, I started thinking about how I am on contract with the dean's office and I was wondering what is going to happen if I don't get my gpa up. Just typing that out gives me a slight panic feeling.
So then why do I put everything off? I know I have to do good! I just never do anything to make it happen. Oye, my scolastic life is truly a paradigm that I will never understand.

Other news:
I'm not going to get the Susan G. Komen internship. Thanks to my great internship coordaitor that didn't feel it a neccesity to tell me about the application deadline, which I missed by a week.
I'm thinking I am going to redo my application and submit it for fall though, only if I can secure my finances.. since it doesn't pay.
I'm looking down other avenues for internships now, I called the Dallas Children's Advocacy Center and I emailed the Dallas office of Cultural Arts, but I haven't heard anything back yet.. If I don't get a response by Thursday I will be emailing them again. I'm also going to email Bridal Associates of DFW, a TXstate sociology intern worked there and was offered a full time job after so maybe she'll get me the hook-up.
I'm also super happy that if something falls through Caitlin's mom said I could intern for Rhythem Junkies. So at least I know I'll have an internship if all else fails!

Since I know that I will have one in Dallas for sure I started looking at apartments and I found THE ONE. I love it and I'm thinking the last weekend in April I am going to head up to D-town to check it out. I'll need to get the lease signed pretty quick because I decided I want to move before Caitlin's bridal shower, so I'm thinking May 20th or 21st will be my move-in day!! Its been 4-ish years, but I'm finally coming home!

more news:
I'm still fat. I had to stop weight watchers because I am broke, and I'm pretty sure I've gained back a lot of weight, maybe not all of it but I'm pretty much not happy about the situation. C-sta's wedding is June 21st and I need to loose like 30 pounds to be happy with myself, and I've got to loose 25 before I order my dress... how will this happen.. none can say.

Now I need to get some sleep because my test tomorrow looks to be a brutal one. Maybe I should just skip it and take the make-up test after the final? Its risky but I'm kind of thinking that's what I should do. Yeah I'm thinking I should do that... I've got to get a good grade in that class, and I've been doing the extra credit to replace my lowest test grade, but if I have two failing tests then that isn't going to be so great.
gah, why do I make my life so hard?